


The End of Everything

by TragicLove



Series: And Learn to Fly [1]
Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: Angst, Childbirth, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Infidelity, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 23:24:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15896268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TragicLove/pseuds/TragicLove
Summary: Nothing could keep them apart, not years, not wedding rings slid onto fingers by other people, not children.





	The End of Everything

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion piece to xhorizen's [Somewhere Only We Know](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15829716) from Natalie's perspective. 
> 
> Song title comes from Somewhere Only We Know off the Glee soundtrack.

Natalie sat on the park bench for hours after Zac left. This wasn’t the first time he’d brought up the idea of them doing this thing together. Raising their baby, living happily ever after. Natalie knew it was hopeless, not only would it be a huge scandal, rocking the band, the guy’s livelihoods and the way they fed their families, but it would rip the entire Hanson family apart at the seams. Natalie couldn’t be held responsible for the crumble of the family, and she made no mistakes about it, it would be seen as all her fault. She may have been a part of this family for almost two decades now, but unless you were born into it, you would always be an outsider, and when push came to shove, it would be you who took the fall. 

It wouldn’t matter that she had loved him first. It wouldn’t matter that her life had taken a turn when she was barely old enough to vote, a bad decision made after one too many glasses of champagne, causing people with far more experience on this earth to convince her they knew what was best for her. She’d been so easily molded into the person they’d wanted her to be, so easily arranged within the confines of their world, their lives, fashioned expertly to make sure Taylor’s image didn’t take a hit. No one had cared as much about Zac’s heart as Taylor’s image, and that was a shock that had stayed with Natalie throughout every minute of these last sixteen years. A knowledge that had shaken her to her core all those years ago and that reminded her whenever she began to gather up the courage to follow her heart, that if they’d rip their own sons heart out to save the picture of the All American Family, there was no telling what they’d do to her. 

They’d tried, they really had. They’d done a good job of staying away from each other for a while. The first time they’d fallen back into bed was two nights before his wedding. He’d shown up at the house, drunk and broken, convinced he couldn’t go through with it. She’d tried, she’d tried her best to convince him that Kate was right for him, that he was making the right decisions. But, when he’d leaned in and kissed her, whispered that he’d missed her, he needed her, she’d let him undress her, she’d let him have her again, after all that time, and they’d never stopped.

They’d talked about stopping, they’d made efforts to not be drawn to each other like the moths to the flame that they were, but nothing ever did it. Nothing could keep them apart, not years, not wedding rings slid onto fingers by other people, not children. 

Children.

Natalie felt that familiar feeling of sadness tinged with regret wash over her. It filled her so completely and so often it was almost like an old friend, back for a visit after being forgotten for a little while. She welcomed it with open arms, her heart breaking a little bit more each and every time. She deserved it. For all the secrets she’d kept, all the lies that she’d told. 

The truth was, this wasn’t the first time she’d felt the unimaginable pull between what was real and what was right. It wasn’t the first time she’d stared down at a pregnancy test and cursed herself for her mistakes. It wouldn’t be the first time she gazed down at a tiny nose, ten little fingers and toes, and saw a man who wasn’t her husband. It was only the first time that she was sure. 

What she wasn’t sure about was how Taylor hadn’t put the pieces together, but he hadn’t, and she wasn’t going to be the one to do it for him. That might make her a lot of things, but she was looking out for her children's best interest. She knew what their family was capable of, and the thought of any of this coming back to her children, punishing them for her mistakes was too much for her to withstand. 

Natalie watched as a young family walked up the path across from her. The park was fairly empty that day, quiet. The little girl's laughter floated through the air, one hand in her mom’s hand, one in her dad’s. She smiled, pushing down the feelings of longing for her unborn daughter to have that, to have it be with the right set of parents. The little girl waved hello on her way past and Natalie raised a hand, the other falling to her swollen belly. She knew she had to do what was right for her daughter, the problem was, she wasn’t really sure what that was. 

It wasn’t that Taylor wasn’t a good father, he was. He loved those kids with everything he had. So much so, that he didn’t have all that much love left over for Natalie. He’d loved her once, she was sure of it. She was even sure that he had loved her more than she had ever really loved him back, but sixteen years of being married to someone that you married for all of the wrong reasons had taken its toll. They were _existing_ together and that was pretty much the extent of it. Until this new baby came along.

She’d sparked something in Taylor, something that the last five somehow hadn’t been able to do. He’d changed over the months since they’d found out, he was home more often, helping out more with the kids and around the house. He’d made a habit of bringing home little gifts for Natalie, sometimes even something as small as a donut from the place a few blocks away that she really loved. He’d whispered in her ear one night in bed after a particularly long day that he was sorry, that he was working to fix all of the damaged years that had flown past them, he was going to repair them with his bare hands and make everything right. How could she take that away from him?

How could she take it away from Zac?

She stood from the bench, starting the walk to her car. It dawned on her then that she’d never considered what she’d been taking from herself. What should have been the best years of her life were spent fulfilling someone else’s idea of what should have been, and now it was too late. They were all too far gone to turn back the clocks and start over. 

They had to move forward, it was the only way through this mess they’d made.


End file.
